


He Ain't Saving Nobody

by beware_of_fangirling



Series: Destiel One-shots [19]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, But Only a Little Bit - Freeform, Children, Fluff, I wrote this a while ago but forgot to post it, M/M, No? Well okay, SO MUCH FLUFF, Toy Stores, but it didn't end well the last time I did a kid fic, but not their children sadly, charity - Freeform, does anyone even read these tags?, it's good, just read it, like no joke, maybe soon, so who knows?, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-28 22:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6348550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beware_of_fangirling/pseuds/beware_of_fangirling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Castiel starts to lose faith in humanity, Dean takes it into his own hands to restore the angel's belief.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Ain't Saving Nobody

Dean noticed the change in Castiel's attitude the same way most people notice the sun moving in the sky, slowly. It was morning, then he looked down and up again and all of a sudden the moon and stars had come out to say hello. He couldn't find the sun anywhere.

It was the same gradual change that overcame the fallen angel's faith the longer he stayed on the ground, instead of in the sky where the sun he was belonged. It was the slow grey that clouded his once bright blue eyes, overtaking his once optimistic disposition with a bleak fog of hopelessness and cynicism.

Dean longed for the sun to come back, prayed for its return to angels he didn't know and a God who had taken the warrior Dean fell for and replaced the soldier's armor and sword with protruding ribs and forced smiles.

Dean held Castiel in his arms, molding them together at night when the sun went down and so did their guards, allowing them to visit each other's private paradises, look around at the foreign antiques that cluttered their souls, gently brush their fingers across the remnants of lost children and dreams that had been stored away in glass jars like fireflies.

Dean kissed Castiel in the morning, to tell the once and always angel that he was still there, to remind himself that this was not like the dreams he stored away, that this was real and beautiful and he would fight for it with every breath in his body.

Dean watched Castiel, as he navigated the kitchen cupboards, as he navigated the rocky road behind the wheel of the Impala as Dean sat in the passenger seat with white knuckles and the insurance company's number repeating in his mind, as he navigated the twisting and turning human world he had been thrust into like a sword through a stomach, painful, foreign and oh so insistent of the mortality humans held in their palms, ready to drop it each day.

Through all his observations, through all their kisses and nights, Dean saw the sun go down.

Castiel no longer laughed so easily, it now took more than a puppy Vine to amuse him. He no longer sang prose to the human race, it now was barbed wire insults wrapped up in a huff under his breath. He no longer fought for everything as if it were a war, from the TV remote to an actual war.

Dean wished he could look away sometimes, wished he could be there to pull Castiel out of the crater without having to stand there for the fall that created it.

It was hard to watch Castiel slowly lose his faith in humanity. Dean's heart ached with every bitter glance stolen towards the television, where a news report was talking about another shooting in another town. It was a story that could be heard quite often, no matter where they were that week.

"Why are we doing this, Dean?" Cas had asked him the previous night, as they were cleaning off their knives after another successful hunt.

Dean gave him a perplexed look. "What do you mean?"

"Why are we hunting all of these monsters, day after day, risking our lives for this race?"

A more perplexed look. "We're saving people, Cas. That's our job."

"But it doesn't matter Dean!" The former angel exploded suddenly, dropping his knife to the bed with an angry huff. "We're killing monsters, sure, but we're not saving anyone. For every monster with fangs and claws we put our bullets through there is a human holding a gun to someone else's head, and we're not doing anything to stop _them_!"

"We'll what do you want, Cas?" Dean shouted back at him, not necessarily angry on his own right but rather feeding off the other's energy. "You think we should go around killing humans too?"

"No, they're doing a pretty bang up job of that for themselves," Cas snarked back with more venom than Dean would ever have expected from him. If it weren't for the subject matter, Dean would have been proud.

"Then what are you saying here Cas?"

The brunet deflated. "I don't even know, Dean, I don't know anything anymore. I just... I want to be helping people. I get that we're trying now but... It doesn't feel like enough." He sunk down onto the bed and, after barely a moment's pause, Dean joined him. He tugged the other closer by the sleeve of his trench-coat, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He held on like it could save his life. 

"We'll help them, Cas. I promise."

|D|O|S|

And Dean was nothing if not stubborn as all Hell. For days upon days he stayed up at his computer well into the night. Castiel gave him questioning looks when he saw the Gucci bags under his eyes but did not ask any questions.

A week after their conversation, they were passing through Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Dean was at the wheel, Sam next to him and Cas seated in the middle of the backseat. They were ambling along in gentle silence when Dean diverted off track and pulled into a parking lot.

"Dean? What are you doing? The GPS says to go straight," Sam protested.

"Sorry Sammy, but we're not following your GPS right now."

"Are you possessed again Dean?"

Dean gave him a bitchface that made even the younger Winchester want to back into a corner. "Sammy? If I was possessed, why on Earth would I bring us to a Toys 'R' Us?"

And sure enough they were parked right in the middle of two SUVs, staring up at the bright childish lettering. 

"Oh," Sam breathed weakly, confusion etched into every feature. As Dean climbed out of the car, he shared a bewildered look with Castiel before the two followed him out. The three of them walked through the parking lot, accompanied by multiple gaggles of children and parents.

"Dean," Sam started slowly, "I know they look cool, but Nerf guns aren't going to kill a demon."

A small redhead boy next to them gave Sam a curious look. "Demons are real?"

The mother he was accompanied by, wearing a Holy Cross of all things, shot them a fearful look. Dean grabbed Cas and Sam by and arm each, pulling them forward at a rushed pace, mumbling under his breath the whole time, "Walk, walk, walk."

They entered the air conditioned maze, each of them easily a foot taller than the rest of the shoppers; Sam had never felt so close to the roof in his life. Dean pulled them into a small huddle, earning a few glares from the mothers and fathers who were forced to go around them. Dean handed Sam a wad of money. "Sam, go find anything cute and cuddly you can get your hands on. I don't care if you have to wrestle it from some snotty brat-"

"Dean, I'm not going to wrestle a kid."

"-Just get as much as you can. Cas and I will go look for toys."

He pulled his boyfriend away by the hand, interlocking their fingers and leaving Sam to fend for himself in the wild. They reached the kids aisle quickly- they were all kids aisles really but this looked like the one with the most toys- and Dean started browsing. Cas gave him a perplexed look, but, when Dean gave him an encouraging nod, he pulled up to them an abandoned shopping cart and started to pull toys off the shelves.

Dean waltzed up with about a dozen different Lego boxes in his arms and dumped them into the cart, earning a wide-eyed look from a small brunette girl standing near them. He wrapped his arm around Castiel's waist and pressed a soft kiss to the angel's temple.

The girl, who was still watching them with the same wide-eyed look, was abruptly tugged on by an older woman. Dean tensed and prepared to step in before he noticed the family resemblance. Still, he stayed on guard. He had enough experience with abusive parents and that lady was gripping the chubby arm much too tightly for his liking. 

"Let's go, RiRi. You don't want to be around here right now," She said with a pointed look at Dean and Cas. Dean glared at her and tightened his arm around his boyfriend's waist. This only served to narrow her beady eyes more. She tugged on the little girl again, but the pint sized creature did not budge, still keeping her saucer eyes on the pair in front of them.

"Mommy, why do you and Daddy never look that in love?"

The woman scoffed and finally bent down to pick her daughter up. "That's not love, that's sin."

The little girl watched Dean and Cas from over her mother's shoulder as she was escorted away, a soft question falling from her lips. "But why?"

Dean watched as they turned the corner, and, while he knew he would probably never see her again, hoped that little girl turned out okay. He finally turned his eyes back onto Castiel and saw a fond smile on his face. "That was a nice young girl," he sighed quietly.

Dean laughed in agreement and tugged Cas back to the shelves. They had work to do.

|D|O|S|

Let the record state that Dean never, _ever_   thought there would come a day when a mountain of pink teddy bears and newly-improved Barbie dolls was overflowing the backseat of his car. Somewhere under the mess of glitter and fluff was his boyfriend. At least, Dean was pretty sure he was back there. He saw the pile squirm a few times, and just hoped it was the fallen angel, not some kid they had accidentally picked up at the check-out counter.

At last, they pulled into the parking lot of the Children's Hospital of Pennsylvania. Between the three of them, they were just able to lug the six large trash bags of toys behind them and into the building. They stopped to get Visitor's Passes, and the receptionist gave them a strange yet pleased look when she saw their bags.

"Hi, I'm Mr. Novak, I called earlier this week?"

Dean could feel Castiel's stare on his back but did not remove his eyes from the receptionist, no matter how much he wanted to shoot the other a smug smirk. 

"Ah, yes, I have you right here. Here are your passes, one for each, and you can follow me to the Rec Room." She handed them the sticky badges and led them to the elevator. Somehow, all four of them and their sacks were able to fit without over-weighing their ride. "Looks like Christmas came early this year," she said with a smile, to which the three men answered in kind. 

The elevator dinged and they climbed off, walking down a long hallway before reaching the Rec Room. A gaggle of kids were in there, some playing together or on their own with toys, some reading and even a few just talking together. One of them saw the boys and their escort enter with the bags and gasped happily. "Presents!"

The other kids turned to look and all of them rushed over at once. Dean, Sam and Cas handed them the bags and they dug in with gusto. A litany of excited gasps and shouted thanks filled the room. Out of the corner of his eye, Dean saw one girl throw herself head first into a bag of stuffed animals, here tiny legs poking out from the top. Another child, a slightly older boy, pulled her out and the two of them began looking through the plushies, soon accompanied by many others. 

The Rec Room Supervisor, a young woman whose name tag read 'Gabby', came up to them with an astonished smile stretching across her face. "Wow! This is incredible! You had said on the phone that you were bringing gifts, but this is more than I ever could have imagined. Thank you so much," she gushed sincerely. 

Sam smiled at her. "It was our pleasure."

Dean smirked and rolled his eyes as his brother and Gabby moved to watch the kids from the other side of the room. He himself pulled Cas to one of the couches, and they settled down together to watch the kids play with their new toys.

"This is why we do it Cas," Dean said after a few moments of companionable spectating. "There's enough monsters in this world that they'll have to deal with, and the majority that they'll face won't be going to Purgatory when they die. We can't go around killing them all, or we're just as bad. This, though, we can do. We kill the real hell creatures so that they never have to worry about that. They're so young right now, but someday they'll be taking on the world. They're our future. I just want to give them their best chance."

Castiel gave him a look, a look that was so full of love that Dean thought he might burst. The angel understood that replying in kind would be toeing over the line into 'Chick-Flick Moment' and only gave Dean a quick peck and rested his head against the other's shoulder.

"Novak, huh?"

Dean flushed. "Well, yeah, I mean, it was the best name I could think of at the moment."

Castiel smiled against his neck. "I actually prefer Winchester." He laced his fingers through Dean's. "For both of us."

Dean buried his splitting grin into the angel's hair and let his cheek rest there. They could take on the world tomorrow, but for now, he was comfortable just watching their future.

**Author's Note:**

> Up next in this series: A continuation of my first one-shot "Pain".


End file.
